Damien Whitmore: I would find Mum crying and repeating: 'I don’t know who I am'

In May 2018, I moved from Shoreditch, east London, to Kingfisher Cottage on the southern side of the Isle of Wight to deal with my 89-year-old mother, who was experiencing Alzheimer's. She had achieved a phase where she couldn't live alone any more nor would she be able to depend entirely on the thoughtfulness and support of neighbors. Up until at that point, my sibling had dealt with Mum from a separation, however the time had desired somebody to move in and deal with her, and my sibling and I concluded that I would do it. While the choice originated from profound inside and felt right, I was fearing moving from hip and in vogue east London to the Isle of Wight and managing my mom. We hadn't generally had the least demanding of connections. There was a buildup of pressure between us since my folks' separation when I was 14. What's more, I didn't know anything about thinking about somebody with Alzheimer's. I didn't figure I could deal with living in a little waterfront town. In the meantime, I was experiencing my own smaller than usual emergency – I had endless lower-back torment, I was uncertain of what I needed to do with my life, where I needed to live, what I was occupied with, who I needed to be. My own brain was befuddled. Oddly, my mom and I were experiencing a comparative thing, we were both latched onto our subconscious minds. I had no clue that through the course of the late spring we would help and mend one another.

I could settle on this choice to live with Mum since I was amidst a profession break subsequent to putting in 25-years working for a portion of the world's most noteworthy exhibition halls. Following eight years functioning as the Tate exhibition's interchanges executive, I regulated the aggregate rebrand of Tate and coordinated the gigantically effective dispatch of Tate Modern in 2000. After this, I moved to the V&A where, working with a gathering of astonishing associates, we changed the historical center and created presentations including David Bowie Is, Hollywood Costume, Art Deco and put the V&A at the epicenter for form all inclusive. I at that point went to deal with the making of the Prada Foundation in Milan, before moving to New York to rebrand and reposition Phillips Art barkers as the world's pioneer for contemporary craftsmanship and outline. I was granted the Legion d'Honneur, the most elevated French request of legitimacy for military and common benefits, in 2008. My work and profession implied completely everything to me, yet despite the fact that I adored all that I did, something was absent for me, which is the reason I had chosen to have a year off and check out my life.

Mum is from a common laborers Irish family, and was raised with her four siblings in Birmingham. It was intense. Mum was unfathomably shrewd, yet wasn't given the open doors in the manner in which we have today. She could have been anything – legal advisor, government official, film star, theater performer. She has a unique quality – the X-factor – and a sharp, clever, carefree soul.

When I initially landed on the Isle of Wight in the pre-summer, Mum was having an extremely hard time. Her neighbors had been in contact to state that they could never again deal with her, so I ran down with my sibling to perceive what should have been finished. Around then, Mum was still in a rebellious mind-set, and it was conceivable to have a sensibly objective discussion with her. She knew she was sick – she knew something wasn't right, however regularly overlooked or denied that she had Alzheimer's. I think she was both furious and frightened about the future and humiliated about her perspective. She was continually attempting to keep up the misrepresentation that she recognized what was happening.

My senses revealed to me that Mum required a day by day schedule with the goal that we had some request to take after consistently, something concrete for her to clutch. In spite of the fact that 89 years of age, Mum was in great physical wellbeing. She looked extraordinary with her fitted garments, white hair with a slash of splendid red lipstick. Individuals used to stop me in the road and inquire as to whether she had been an on-screen character. "Obviously," I said.